The Folly of the EQTTTWA

Welcome to the inaugural post of "How to Stump the Sage at KBCO". The format for this blog is simple. First, I scrutinize the questions called in each week. My grading system is tough, totally subjective and I rarely give anyone an A so GET OVER IT if you think you deserved a better grade. Next I offer a tip on how not to blow it with your questions for The Sage of World Class Rock. As this blog progresses, it will become a textbook on all things Sage, and my intention is help raise the bar for this weekly contest of wits. Next in my blog, I tell a story that will help you with your quest to defeat The Sage. Finally, I end the post with a weird rock video.

Our first crop of questions is a bit lackluster. The prizes this week were Snow Patrol and Oasis tickets, so it's possible that this diminished the overall quality of the questions. The theory that the quality of the prize is proportional to the quality of the questions would be a good topic for discussion in a future post, wouldn't it? But for now, let's just assess the damage...

This week's questions:

Question #1: A nervous woman asks, "You know the band Primus? What TV show did they do the theme song to?" Here we have a classic EQTTTWA, or "Easy Question That They Thought Was Awesome". Fuck... we all watch South Park and most of us have noticed that little detail in the credits, haven't we? Grade: D-

Bonus tip: Don't ask a simple question before your real question. If he is in a pissy mood, The Sage could lightning bolt you for starting your call with "Hey Sage, how are you this morning?"

Question #2: "Simon and Garfunkel allowed the lyrics to 'Mrs. Robinson' to be changed in what Albert Brooks movie?" Answer: "Mother". This one scored a stump but it was a little boring for my tastes. So is Snow Patrol, by the way. Grade: C+

Question #3: What band did the Allman Brothers jam with and record a live album with in 1970? Answer: Derek and the Dominoes. Another stump! I kind of like this one as it is an essential piece of rock knowledge. I wouldn't have asked it because it seems like a DJ would have known it. But you can't argue with success and it shows a chink in The Sage's armor. Grade: B

Question #4: "How did The Doors get their name?" OUCH! My brain hurts. Quite possibly one of the ultimate EQTTTWAs here. Grade: F

Question #5: "Susan Tedeschi used what world class guitarist on her cover of an old Led Zepplin tune?" Stump! And game over. This one just wasn't very interesting, but the fact that Kenny Wayne Shepard played it instead of Derek Trucks (her hubby) was a good trick to nab the prize. Grade: C+

This week's tip:

Don't ask an EQTTTWA! Two out of five of the questions above show us that it's a good idea to test your question out on a rock trivia junkie before you pick up the phone. It may be amazing to YOU that The Grateful Dead called themselves The Warlocks back in the mid-60s, but I assure you this little bit of info isn't going to win you shit.

This week's story:

The first time I stumped The Sage was in 2003, and my question was, "Name the Utopia album that was so bad, the record company refused to release it" This led to some good-natured Utopia bashing between myself and The Sage culminating in The Sage throwing in the towel. The answer: "The Disco Jets". If you ever get a chance to hear this album, it's wonderfully bad. They do an instrumental version of the Star Trek theme song, along with a really lame disco song called "Cosmic Convoy". Picture CB radio chatter in outer space set to a thumpin' disco beat. I won a pair of tickets to an Eagles concert at the Pepsi Center and a box set of Eagles tunes. Dr. Lolo and I had a lovely evening that night and our seats were excellent.

This week's video:

Last night, Monique the Monkey Girl and I watched "Not Quite Hollywood", a documentary about Australian B Movies in the 60s and 70s. This film was featured at this year's Denver Film Festival and we managed to procure an advance copy DVD from a high-placed friend of ours in the media. This flick is amazing! There are so many cheesy monsters and car crashes, you feel as if you have died and gone to B movie heaven. Quentin Tarantino is featured throughout the film and he talks about how these movies influenced his work. His comments are hilarious! One of the movies that he raves about is "Stunt Rock", a low-budget gem that merges three discordant themes: rock music, stunt men, and magic tricks. Monique cleverly remarked: "It's like that Simpsons episode where Bart sees the fireworks, puppy dogs and candy store." Check it out...